Peer Review Recap, Part 3

This peer review was probably the least productive for me. I blame myself partly for this because I was a little late on uploading my link and I had trouble with my computer. But I did notice that my peers did not necessarily participate a lot either.  Jason commented on Audrey’s essay but I think he did not check for mine (since I uploaded it late probably). I don’t think Audrey commented on either of mine or Jason’s essays which was not really helpful.

Overall, this peer review was my least favourite. Last time in the wiki it was much easier which also seems to be the general consensus of my peers as well.

Reading and Writing about Comics ala McCloud, Part2

I decided to check out Jordan Schotz’s comic analysis. For one, I believe she had a decent analysis of the comic she chose, and two I really thought the comic was simple and nice looking and I wanted to work with it myself.

Jordan chose to write about McCloud’s take on what it takes to make a face. Her comic involved an anthropomorphic chair.

I am going to write about the transitions between panels in the comic. Of the six transitions that McCloud mentions in his book, I had trouble deciding whether this was an “action-to-action” transition or a “moment-to-moment” transition.

The comic could fit into the “moment-to-moment” transition because each panel shows a very subtle movement (over what we perceive to be a small amount of time). However, one might be able to argue that it could be an “action-to-action” transition since the  there IS some action (all be it a seemingly slow moving action) in the strip (i.e. the chair eats the remote!)

Between the two of those, I am going to say that it is a slow-moving action-to-action transition. Do you agree?

Reading and Writing about Comics ala McCloud, Part 1

I tried finding a new web comic with Scott McCloud’s site (error page) and the online comics site (to difficult to navigate!) but eventually used The Webcomic List to find cryptowen.com, and this amazing comic.

The web comic seems to be random non-sequiturs. While this is true, this particular comic itself does not fit into McCloud’s “non-sequitur” panel transition theory. This comic better fits into the “moment-to-moment” panel transition (the panda moves a little bit between each panel).

The artist also uses simple, iconic, and universal drawings to depict the subject (panda!)

As far as time frames go, this particular comic does not span any significant amount of time (except the pauses between the panda’s speech to us).

Clearly, the artist of this particular comic knew what they heck they were doing and hilarity ensued.

Picturing Texts on the Web

The first page that came to mind when asked to evaluate a web site was Star Shaped, a web blog that I have been reading for nearly ten years now.

As far as balance goes, Aubrey’s page is very well balanced: the main content is to the right and the navigation is to the left. While this may seem like a simple layout (most blogs do use this standard layout) there are a few pages out there that go for three columns or unbalanced navigation (*cough*ScottMcCloud.com*cough*). Because Aubrey’s text layout is simple, it is not only aesthetically pleasing, but easy to use.

Another thing that I notice about this page is that she regularly adds pictures to emphasize her story. This has happened in writing for sooo many years (using pictures to emphasize a message. Newspapers frequently do this). There is also the graphic “title” of the page, and various stars surrounding the border of the main text. This not only keeps the reader focused on the primary content of the text but also welcomes and encourages new readers to join in reading (by luring with pleasing aesthetics and easy-to-follow navigation layout).

Peer Review Recap, Part 2

This second peer review was great! I really prefer Wetpaint to Google Docs.

While I like the idea of sharing documents through Google documents, the group editing tool was a little difficult to follow (it’s easy to get lost in all the updates). The wiki updates from my peers were far easier to read because many of my classmates chose different colours to edit in.

What was easiest about the wiki peer review was the fact that all updates on my wiki page were emailed to me so I could check them immediately. I wish class discussions were like that!

My peers all seemed to like my essay which is great because I was a little worried that it would not be well accepted (for its offbeat nature). I did appreciate all of the constructive comments and really felt confident that, after a rewrite, I will be turning in a great essay.

I hope we have peer reviews on Wetpaint again!

What are others saying?

Upon visiting several of my classmate’s blogs I first noticed that most everyone besides me has a sweet looking layout for their blogs. But, I wasn’t visiting for aesthetics.

Reading my peers’ reactions of both Strunk and White and Williams’ books gave me a bit of insight into things I did not previously notice/consider about the books (helpful things I did not pick up on during my first read-through, like Kimberly pointing out the cute little puns that Strunk and White make). But for the most part, it seems as if we as a class tend to agree on both books: they weren’t fun to read, but they are good resources for writers to have.

Kimberly Ryder’s impressions of Strunk and White were fun to read. Her initial sentence is entirely similar to my own first impressions:

I’m glad that this is a short book, because I found it to be rather dull at times. It was kind of like attending a mini yet intensive grammar lesson – as it covered absolutely everything.

I also couldn’t help but enjoy her David Cross reference and some mention about literal pants pooping.

When writing about Williams’ book, Kimberly says:

I don’t feel like this is a book that I can just take it and understand it all in the first reading. I walked away from this book with a heavy empahsis in my head about clarity and cohesion and that’s about it. Which is too bad, cause I spent lots of time trying to understand everything and feel like I have retained relatively nothing.

Absolutely could not have put it better myself.

Jordan Schotz says on Strunk and White, “As a quick reference for certain things, it seems like it would be a very helpful book, especially if one is pressed for time.” She goes on to mention (when comparing S&W with Williams) that The Elements of Style is a good reference book and Style is better as a straight read though. I had not considered this before. I imagined both to be reference books although Williams book is not easily broken up into sections that would be easy to turn to.

Bethany Fulton said:

…the most ironic thing, I found, was that a good portion of Williams’ book was about how to be a more effective writer, more concise, more clear…and the book just seemed to drag on.

Okay, okay. I’m sure I can only give so many examples that reiterate my point: everyone agrees that, while these books were slightly helpful and refreshing, they were also a pain and difficult to read.

I’m glad, and I am sure that many of my peers will agree, that we were required to read these two style texts for class. I’m positive that most, if not all, of us would not have ever taken the time to read through these books of our own accord (I think Jordan(? Kimberly?) even mentions before how she purchased the book before hand and lost the copy without ever reading it). But all in all, we will now be better at analyzing texts. Super sweet.

Comparing S&W with Williams

I had mentioned before that Strunk and White’s Elements of Style reminded me somewhat of books that a high school student might be required to read (and I later found out that many people were required to read this book in high school). If Strunk and White wrote for high school students and/or general population, then Williams was writing specifically for English graduate students with an irrational obsession for the written language who love to mentally torture themselves with the dryest of writing styles.

Of course, Williams does a fine job of easing your mind in the preface to his book; he gives the illusion that everything is going to be okay. He then proceeds to give us what I like to call the Chinese water torture of style tips; droning on and on about the subtlest of nuances in style and giving page long “examples” (or as I like to call them, book-padding!) After his preface, I had such high hopes for Williams. Perhaps it is just me but I found it nearly impossible to understand his examples: half of them were examples of what-not-to-do and were so wordy (not to mention of a subject that I’d have no interest in) that I would fail to remember what point he was trying to make in the first place (oh wait, I guess his point was something like, “don’t make your writing wordy”… right?)

The entire time I was reading Style, I was expecting Williams to slip in a sentence at the end along the lines of, “Just kidding guys! This entire book was a joke and you actually read the entire thing!” In many parts I was more than positive that he was teaching the SAME thing he taught just two chapters ago. Redundant. Redundant.

I would love to call Joseph Williams’ book “turgid” but I have a newfound hatred for that word and so I will use a hella cooler word, “bombastic”.

And since this blog entry is supposed to be comparing the two, well damn: I thought The Elements of Style was a bit difficult to read and ostentatious in its teachings, but after reading Style I would have to say that I much prefer Strunk and White.

I understand that this is not exactly going past the surface of these two books. There are aspects that I could go in to like whom these books are intended for and why the author’s felt the need to write them in the first place. However, no, not in the blog entry. If I have to write a paper about these two books just next week then I will save all my good stuff until then.

Revising with Williams

From Graduation Application:

Failure to meet the application deadline will result in the candidate’s graduation being delayed until the following graduation period. Failure to satisfy degree requirements, including the removal of incompletes in required courses or providing official transcripts for course work taken at other colleges or universities, will necessitate filing a new application for graduation for the subsequent graduation period. Only one application fee is required.

In my rewrite of this sentence I reworded many nominalizations according to Williams’s recommendations starting on page 33. I was also able to manage the flow of information by keeping information the reader is already familiar with at the beginning of sentences and the most important information at the end of the sentences.

I also decided that it was necessary in this case to use the audience as a topic. On pages 57-58 of Style Williams talks about making a reader a part of the experience by saying “you”. And I used active voice saying that “…Eastern will delay your graduation…” (a fact that, I’m sure, Eastern does not want to boast responsibility for, hence the passive voice).

Strunk and White: First Impressions

Perhaps it was because I got the illustrated version, but my first impresion of The Elements of Style was that it was quite a cute little book. The first part with all of the grammatical rules reminded me of grammar books from high school and only added to the quaint cuteness. I found the grammar rules to be a nice refresher although I’m sure that I will never take the time to remember every single one of them.

The Principles of Composition section all seemed like stuff that should (and for the most part does) come second to a person who has closely studied English for a decade or more. Even so, I a guilty of failing to follow some of those rules when writing essay assignments from time to time.

Obviously there are a few things that do not apply to today’s writing style. The Syllabication section comes to mind. In the syllabication section we are instructed how to handle typing out a word using a hyphen when it will not fit completely on a line. This no longer applies to most of us today since we all type on computers that auto wrap our text and correct allignment without our giving it a second thought.

I think the book had many useful tips and made interesting points. I would still most definitely describe it as a cute book, although a very useful cute book.

Peer Review Recap, Part 1

I will admit that this first round of peer review was a little confusing and I’m guessing that is why it went kind of shaky, at least for my group.

I currently have what I am calling the “final” draft of my essay, ready to be turned in. Unfortunately, only one of my classmates has thus far critiqued it. I am hoping that, before Monday night, another of my class mates will be able to add their input. It seems that one of my class mates (Kiana?) has yet to participate in this class at all and so I am pretty sure that I will not receive a peer review from that person.

I really appreciated the feedback that Jordan (the only class mate to critique my paper so far) gave. There were plenty of grammatical corrections and suggestions as well as helpful content suggestions. I did not take every single one of Jordan’s suggestions but I appreciated that there were so many because it gave me more insight as to how my paper is interpreted by others.

Hopefully I gave equally as helpful feedback. I think I mostly gave grammatical suggestions on my classmates papers but perhaps in the future I can add more content suggestions as well.

I think that it’s tougher to offer content suggestions–at least for this particular paper–because I noticed that each of my classmates had a slightly different approach to the assignment. I really appreciated being able to read a couple other papers and found that it led to my reflecting more on my own paper.

So… first peer review = aces! Though I really hope for more constructive criticism (i.e. from more than one classmate) in the next assignment!